Attachment Parenting is not a new style of parenting. It’s an approach based on the way you would care for your children naturally without the influence of professionals. Dr. William and Martha Sears named and recommended practices for this approach based on over thirty years of their parenting experience and observations of other parents. Your baby expects to be held most of the time, responded to sensitively, breastfed, and kept comfortable. When his expectations are not met, he signals his need nonverbally. When his signals are consistently met with your attempts to understand and meet his needs, he learns to trust you, and his ability to communicate. His signals become clearer, and your responses become more accurate. This interaction builds attachment between you and him and helps him learn the language. He spends less time crying and more time in a state of quiet alertness in which he best grows and develops emotionally, intellectually, and physically.
Connection Time Activities
Cooking, Games, Reading & Exercise to Fit Busy Schedules Author Pam Leo recommends a minimum of ten minutes of one-on-one connection time each day for parents and children. The plan…
Co-Sleeping, Discipline and Connecting With The School-Aged Child
School-aged children have outgrown the typical basics of attachment parenting. How can a parent stay attached past the preschool years? For the parents of infants and toddlers, attachment parenting is…
Pros and Cons of Co-Sleeping
Safe Bed Sharing Enables Breastfeeding & Attachment Co-sleeping is an important part of attachment parenting. However, a family bed is not for everyone. There are two sides to the co-sleeping…
Review of “Hold on to Your Kids”
An Attachment Parenting Guide In this 2004 book, Neufeld and Gabor Mate, M.D. discuss the importance of parental attachment and influence and the dangers of peer orientation. Ensuring that children…
A Review of Connection Parenting
Author Pam Leo’s Guide on How to Parent through Connection and Love In her 2005 parenting book, Pam Leo teaches us the importance of connecting with our children and offers…
RAD Children Bonding & Therapy
Reactive Attachment Disorder Family Bonding with your Reactive Attachment Child is difficult but possible following bonding techniques, keeping a structured environment, and if necessary with RAD therapy. Love alone will…
Parenting the RAD Child
Reactive Attachment Disorder Parenting Tips Parenting a Reactive Attachment Disorder child, who has not learned to trust, is difficult. Without trust, there is no respect, honesty, or real affection. Lectures,…
Reactive Attachment Disorder
RAD Signs, Symptoms & Causes Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) children are often described as angry, lying, uncaring, and violent children. The signs and symptoms are as varied as the causes….
Attachment Parenting Controversy
Why Breastfeeding, Baby Wearing & Co-Sleeping are Misunderstood Attachment parenting is a parenting philosophy that is soaring in popularity. Still, there are many traditional or mainstream parents who do not…
AP does not require an at-home mom. It’s just as important, if not more, for working parents to practice attachment parenting while they are with their child so they can build connection and trust. AP parents take special care in choosing a responsive and nurturing substitute caregiver.
AP is not just for moms. It’s for dads and all of your child’s other caregivers.
AP is not indulgent parenting. It’s responding appropriately to your child’s signals. It’s giving her everything she needs, not everything she wants. (However, a young baby’s wants are her needs.)
AP is not permissive parenting. It’s gaining your child’s trust by meeting his needs so he will trust your authority and more easily accept limits. It’s knowing your child well and being compassionate while shaping his behavior through encouragement and gentle correction. It’s never withholding your love and approval.
AP does not create dependent children. It’s dependably meeting your child’s needs to create stability so she has the confidence to do things on her own.
AP is not a method with steps to be followed. It’s a set of tools to help you build attachment with your child. Practicing these tools helps you become more sensitive to your child’s cues. Use the following tools as a starting point for creating your own way of parenting.
Begin at Birth. Spend lots of time with your baby during the first weeks after his birth when you and he are getting to know one another. This time allows you to learn his subtle language, our “forgotten” nonverbal language, so you can build trust by dependably meeting his needs. Hold him skin-to-skin immediately after he is born. Breastfeed him within the hour. Look at him, touch him, and talk to him.